


Blowing Off Steam

by mosylu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, References to Emotional Abuse, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosylu/pseuds/mosylu
Summary: Cisco knows why he started pelting the house with eggs. But he's got no clue why a strange woman walked up and asked if she could help.Now that they've been caught by the cops and are waiting around for the wheels of justice to turn, he's got the time to find out.





	Blowing Off Steam

**Author's Note:**

> I picked this AU idea up from @dailyau on Tumblr: “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” It sounded like Cisco and Caitlin to me.

The lights of the police cars swirled around the nice suburban street. Cisco shifted his weight on the cold, hard curb. “Sorry about this.”

The woman next to him said, “This isn’t your fault.”

“I’m the one who brought the eggs and was chucking them at the house. You’re just the one who walked up and asked if you could help.”

She looked ruefully at her hands, which still had traces of raw egg. “Yes, well. I didn’t have to. But I did.” She folded her hands in her lap and hiked up her chin. “So, I guess we’ll both face the music together.”

He nodded a little. “Explain to me _why_ you wanted to help? I mean, I know why I’m here.“

"Why are you here?”

He shrugged. “I dunno, I have seven million freshman finals to grade and I’m mad stressed? Egging some guy’s house seemed like a good way to blow off steam.” He eyed her. “But I get the feeling random petty vandalism isn’t usually your style.”

She picked at her fingernails, chipping away at the polish. “That’s my ex’s house.”

“Ooooo,” he breathed as a lot of things came clear. “So, I take it you didn’t have a particularly amicable breakup?”

“Not really.”

He waited. “That’s all I get?”

“I barely know you.”

“And yet it’s like we’ve known each other forever,” he said solemnly. “C'mon, spill. What else is there to do while the cops do their thing?”

She looked over her shoulder. “They are taking an awfully long time.”

“Oh, I’ve been in trouble before,” he said airily. “Trust me, everything cops do takes forever.”

She sighed and he knew he had her. “We were together for two years. And in the beginning, he was so sweet. So perfect. He said all the right things, he did all the right things - ”

“I’m getting the sinking feeling that didn’t last.”

She nodded. "He started getting more demanding. Nothing I did was good enough. He would call me names and tell me I was stupid and couldn’t get anything right.”

Cisco's fingers clenched around each other, but he kept his voice calm. “Did he ever hit you?”

“No,” she said. “But some of the things he said to me - they were worse than a slap or a punch. And he would always say that it was my fault he had to treat me like that. If I would just be sweet and not provoke him, he would be a good boyfriend again. He’d let me go out, he’d let me see my friends, I just had to behave myself and do everything he asked.”

Cisco cringed. “How’d you get free of him?”

“I wish I could tell you a story about my triumphant breakup and walking out with middle fingers held high - but the truth is, I waited until he went out of town, packed only what I needed, and bolted. I changed my phone number and shut down all my social media and moved three cities away.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Two years.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing,” she said. “Six months later, I got a letter in the mail that was just a picture of everything I’d left behind, at the dump.”

If the cops hadn’t taken the eggs away, Cisco would have stood up and lobbed the rest of them at Hunter’s dumb front door. The message was as clear as a shout. The asshole had wanted her to know he could find her whenever he liked, and that she was just so much garbage to him. “What happened then?”

“That was the last I heard from him. He didn’t stalk me, he didn’t threaten me, he didn’t so much as send me a creepy Christmas card. It’s the best way it could have ended. Exactly what I hoped for. And I was devastated. Isn’t that awful?”

“Hey,” he said. “I’ve been around other people who got out of abusive relationships.”

“It wasn’t really - ” She stopped. “Yes. Yes, it was.” She started picking at her fingernails again. “Sorry, I’m still getting used to saying that.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s complicated. You loved him - I mean, you loved the guy you thought he was. Even though he’s a waste of atoms, that feeling still hangs on.”

“Yes, that’s what my therapist says. Among other things.”

“You doing better now?”

“After a lot of therapy, yes.” She looked over her shoulder. “This was worth at least two or three sessions.”

“Glad to be of service,” he said, and she gave him a shaky smile. “Hey, should we clue the cops in about this history? So if he comes back, you don’t have to see him?”

“I never took out a restraining order or anything,” she said. “And I came here tonight of my own free will. I don’t think I can’t ask that.”

Cisco thought maybe she could. He happened to know one of the detectives on duty tonight had a grown daughter and not a lot of fondness for Hunter Zolomon. But before he could wave Joe West over, another cop came up to them. “All right, you two. Names and IDs.”

His new buddy got to her feet, head held high like she thought she was Marie Antoinette about to go to the guillotine. “My name is Caitlin Snow,” she said, handing over her driver’s license “This is my ex’s house. That’s why I egged it.”

“Ah,” the cop said, scribbling it down. “Okay. I don’t need the whole history. You know playing out some damn Taylor Swift song is still vandalism, don’t you?”

“I’m aware.”

Cisco butted in. “Hey, Officer, it ended real badly, so if there’s any way to do this without her having to see him, or - ”

The cop’s bored eyes swung his way. “And you are?”

“Friend of hers,” he said. “Just here supporting her perfectly justifiable lady-rage. He did her dirty. Seriously.”

It was a good thing the cop wasn't looking at Caitlin, because she blinked and looked extremely puzzled for a split second before schooling her face into blandness again.

“Yeah, I’m still going to need your name," the cop said.

Cisco sighed. “Cisco Ramon. I got my ID somewhere here - ” He started digging in his pocket.

“Hold up a moment,” another voice said, and he almost dropped with relief. It was Joe West. He leveled his gaze at Cisco for a moment, then beckoned the first cop away.

They conferred. The first cop said, “Serious?” really loudly, then looked over at them. Joe sent him away and came back to them.

“What’s going on, officer?” Caitlin said. “Are we going to get arrested?”

“Not at the present moment.”

Caitlin looked at the house, egg-spattered, two windows cracked. “But - ”

“It’s private property, so Zolomon would have to press charges, and between you and me and the mailbox, he’s got bigger problems.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a little matter of some stolen property we noticed in the garage when we were checking out one of the windows you two broke.” His eyes crinkled up.

Cisco told himself that it was a little early to punch the air and let out a victory howl. “Wow,” he said, wide-eyed, conscious of Caitlin’s gaze pinned to the side of his head. “No way. Forreals?”

“Mhm. So if this comes up again, we’ve got your names and addresses. But honestly, it probably won’t.”

“So we’re free to go? Is what you’re saying?”

“Cisco,” Joe said. “I know what this was about.”

Cisco gave him puppy eyes. “I know. It’s juvenile delinquent nonsense. I don’t know what came over me. Thanks for having my back.”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Juvenile delinquent? Sure. Let’s go with that. Don’t do it again.”

“Scout’s honor,” he said, giving a muddled salute somewhere between Boy Scouts, US Navy, and the Full Rimmer from _Red Dwarf._

Joe suppressed a snort and waved him away. He took the hint and scooted.

Caitlin chased after him. “Did you know that cop?”

He kept walking, unwilling to let any cop change their mind and haul him in. “Uh, yeah, for a few years. His daughter is engaged to my best bud.”

“Is that why he let us off the hook?”

“Partially, but mostly it’s because ol’ Hunter has bigger problems, and it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

Her eyes went narrow. “I never mentioned his name. Neither did the police.”

“You, uh, you didn’t?” Oh, shit. They hadn’t.

“Did you pick his house on purpose?”

“I told you,” he said. “Just letting off some steam. Youthful hijinks.”

“I believed that initially, but I also believed Hunter when he said he loved me and he’d never mistreat me, so we’ve established I’m kind of gullible.”

He paused on the corner to face her. “Putting me on a level with that skunkbag? Girl. Low.”

She crossed her arms. “You said you had finals to grade. Are you a professor in his department or something?”

“You’re giving me a lot of credit I don’t deserve. I am but a lowly TA without even a master’s degree yet. Professors barely know I exist.”

“Is that why you egged his house?”

“Not exactly.” He glanced over her shoulder and pulled her along until they could no longer see the police lights, just the occasional dancing reflection. “Okay, full disclosure? I called the cops myself.”

“What?” she shrieked.

“Shhshshsh! Look, cops won’t just come out to some dude’s house without a reason, and if I just called in a prowler, they’d do a drive-by, maybe swing a flashlight around. I knew that stolen property had to be somewhere. So I thought that if I egged his house, maybe cracked a few windows, they’d have to look closer and maybe they’d find it.” He grinned. “And they did.”

“How did you know about the stolen property in the first place?”

“Because Zoloman pinned the theft on my brother.”

Her mouth fell open, then closed and opened a few more times, like a goldfish. “Of course,” she said. “Of course he did. That sounds just like him.”

“It’s a little early to do a victory dance right now, but my brother swears he had nothing to do with it and he has an alibi. They’re going to re-open the case, and with the stuff turning up in his garage, the outcome should be way different.”

“Why didn’t you say this in the first place?”

“If it hadn’t worked, I’d’ve been in a whole mess of trouble. I wanted to spare you. It sounded like you had enough of your own. And - “ He shrugged. “I dunno. It sounds kind of crazy.”

“I think it sounds amazing.”

He felt himself blushing. “He’s my brother. It’s what you do.”

They were passing someone’s garbage cans, parked out on the street for pickup in the morning. She said, “Can you wait a moment?”

“Hmm?”

She pulled something out of her pocket. “A letter,” she said. “I was going to put it in his mailbox. But I - I think I don’t really need to do that anymore.” She tore it into shreds and dumped the fistful of confetti into the garbage can.

“Awesome,” he said, holding up his hand.

She high-fived him back, grinning broadly. “Listen,” she said. “I was going to get myself a very big drink after I dropped off the letter. I don’t see any reason to change that plan. Would you like to come with me?”

He felt the same grin creep over his face. “Can’t think of anything I’d like more.”

FINIS


End file.
